THE AWESOMENESS is trademarked copywritten holy water w/ peach sweet tea vodka & other mystical components approved by Zeus. Zeus is our lawyer so don't even think about trying to imitate this stuff cause he will strike your tired ass down with an AWESOMENESS-colored lightning bolt that will give you a whole new appreciation for the term brain freeze.
What's great about slushees is the frozen fluid numbs your tongue so you can't taste all the booze going down your gullet. Yeah that's what's happening you lush, that & all the sugar cranking your metabolism up over 7,500 RPM to jack the alcohol straight to your brain.
We used to serve AWESOMENESS in a larger glass but people kept falling off their barstools. Someone suggested we turn down the alcohol content & keep the same size glass, but then they got fired for being stupid.
Elvis drinks AWESOMENESS, so does Ozzy Osbourne, & even Mr. T enjoys one (or 5) every once in awhile. For the record, the record is 7, and going to the hospital is an expensive end to binge-drinking so don't drink 7 AWESOMENESS fool. Unless you're Trent Reznor, who can drink 9, but you ain't him fool. 12 ounces of AWESOMENESS is only $8, bring your own helmet & stay on the barstool. Fool.